You're invited to a party. Unfortunately, you don't know anyone else who is going to be there. Some people at this point will find excuses to get out of this situation. A lot of people will start to dread or think about the worst case scenario and as a result end up feeling worse off. Some people become symptomatic (so they have a valid excuse), others will tell white lies.

Why do we do this? Simply because being in a situation that is unfamiliar could result in us feeling awkward, be potentially embarrassing and, essentially, we try and avoid anything that is painful.

What is the mindset that someone would need to have that would make them look forward, almost be excited, to be in a situation like this? This is a very important question that I want you to ask. Everyone will, of course, come up with their own unique answer. You might decide to find someone who does enjoy 'it' and ask them lots of mindset questions.

The answer I came up with is this. When people know you very well, they have certain expectations of how you act. You can tell with some degree of accuracy how they will respond to your actions or comments. You don't have this safety net when you are with people you don't know. You are not sure how you are going to act, or how they are going to respond to what you say and do. This acts as a real nice way to learn lots about yourself.

So how does learning about yourself result in you enjoying this situation? If you value your own growth and development (which I am assuming you do otherwise you would not be reading this article) you would now have a different focus. Now, there is no such thing as success or failure (which is where all the pain comes from), you just have feedback. Remember, feedback is a successful persons' fuel for their continued growth and development.

What if you made the assumption that the party was no longer about you? As you are probably aware by now, much of our suffering comes about due to us being self absorbed. If you change your focus to how you can help others, you begin to feel quite differently. What if your thought was along the lines of : "I am going to find the 4 most uncomfortable people at this party and help them feel at ease and happy". What if you knew you could do it? Would you?